{"product_id":"these-legs-paid-for-this-couch-crewneck-funny-trail-sweatshirt-noflatmiles","title":"These Legs Paid for This Couch Crewneck | Funny Trail Sweatshirt | NOFLATMILES","description":"\u003cp\u003eYou want something that looks clean, but still tells the truth.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis crewneck does both.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eMinimal mountain line art that ends at a couch, because we respect science and reality.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e“These Legs Paid for This Couch” is basically a post-run receipt - proof that you earned the laziness you’re about to perform with Olympic-level commitment.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePerfect for café stops after the trail, travel days, and the “I’m not sore, I’m just… slow” phase.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePeople will read it, laugh, and either ask what you ran -\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ctable id=\"size-guide\" style=\"min-width: 360px;\"\u003e\n\u003cthead\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding: 10px;\"\u003e \u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eS\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eM\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eXL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003e2XL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/thead\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eWidth, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e20.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e22.01\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e24.02\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e25.98\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e27.99\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eLength, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e27.01\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e27.99\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e28.98\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e30.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e30.98\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eSleeve length, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e25.79\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e25.98\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e26.18\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e26.38\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e26.57\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eor admit they also pay for their couch in pain.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eProduct features\u003cbr\u003e- Medium-heavy 8.25 oz fabric with soft 3-end fleece for warmth and comfort\u003cbr\u003e- Durable construction: side seams and double-needle topstitch on all seams\u003cbr\u003e- Ribbed knit collar with necktape to prevent stretching and add comfort\u003cbr\u003e- Blend of cotton and polyester with recycled polyester in heather options for softness and resilience\u003cbr\u003e- Tear-away label and regular fit that runs true to size\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eCare instructions\u003cbr\u003e- Machine wash: cold (max 30C or 90F)\u003cbr\u003e- Do not bleach\u003cbr\u003e- Tumble dry: low heat\u003cbr\u003e- Iron, steam or dry: low heat\u003cbr\u003e- Do not dryclean\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"S \/ Black","offer_id":47614349672548,"sku":"56303850888712175217","price":55.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Heather Grey","offer_id":47614349705316,"sku":"25702197975759499052","price":55.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Navy","offer_id":47614349738084,"sku":"69144455438582563281","price":55.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Black","offer_id":47614349770852,"sku":"11507619918033322842","price":55.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Heather Grey","offer_id":47614349803620,"sku":"22012837347816268274","price":55.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Navy","offer_id":47614349836388,"sku":"23374435629995904415","price":55.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Black","offer_id":47614349869156,"sku":"25965697252898718353","price":55.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Heather Grey","offer_id":47614349901924,"sku":"33229459130936832463","price":55.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Navy","offer_id":47614349934692,"sku":"11401493188231167587","price":55.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Black","offer_id":47614349967460,"sku":"33764242217582548469","price":55.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Heather Grey","offer_id":47614350000228,"sku":"29027327378320386079","price":55.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Navy","offer_id":47614350032996,"sku":"78906490912144098217","price":55.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Black","offer_id":47614350065764,"sku":"27059551957908132439","price":55.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Heather Grey","offer_id":47614350098532,"sku":"12294966153689024016","price":55.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Navy","offer_id":47614350131300,"sku":"31621389905853626864","price":55.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0693\/5416\/0228\/files\/14998889444490872005_2048.jpg?v=1767119591","url":"https:\/\/noflatmiles.com\/products\/these-legs-paid-for-this-couch-crewneck-funny-trail-sweatshirt-noflatmiles","provider":"NoFlatMiles","version":"1.0","type":"link"}